My Story.

I wasn't sure if this was going to be something I was ever going to write let alone post, but recently I have found myself discussing my degree and my job hunt all the time. So I thought I would share my story as it were with you. I began this blog after a year of failing to get a job in the film industry. I have always wanted to follow my passion and that is filmmaking. This is a little different to my usual posts but please give it a read. 

I studied Film at the University of Kent, I had decided at school that filmmaking was the future career I was interested in, so I like many others applied to study film at university. (I should point out that I also enjoy History and although I thought that would have been the saver course to study at University I opted to follow my passion in film). So three years on I graduated from the University of Kent with a 2:1 BA degree with honours. During that final year I weighed up what I was going to do next, I decided to get my masters at the same university, they were offering a grant meaning my studies would be almost free and I felt that gaining a masters could only help my chances when it came to applying for film based jobs. I graduated from my masters in November 2016 with a 2:1 which I am proud of.

I finished my masters work in September 2016 and that is when my job search began. Since then I worked out recently that I have applied for over 300 jobs, changing my CV more times than I can count. At first I was quite specific in what I applied for, looking for film even TV based positions whereas now I'll literally apply for anything. In all that time I have only received one interview for an internship for a media website - I did not get the job because they wanted someone with more experience. Of all the jobs I have applied for I have probably on heard back from 1/10th and if I am honest this has resulted in a monumental lack of confidence, I find myself asking what is wrong with me? am I useless? have I not achieved enough?  why can i not get an entry level full time admin job? and most importantly was my degree a waste of time? 

It is important to mention here that I do currently have a job and I have been in this job since September 2016, I am an administrative assistant. I am incredibly grateful for this job and I have gained a lot of new skills and experience. But it is not in the film industry or anything related. I work in the construction sector. I work part time hours as that is all that is on offer and if I am honest I will take whatever I can get. Moreover I worked all through university except from my Masters year as I did find the work load took up all of my time. I have worked at Camp America spending a summer working in a children's summer camp where I taught filmmaking. I have worked on countless university film projects one of which recently won an award. I have tried to gain more on set experience, but I have found it hard to find listings that are legitimate and more importantly that can pay even expenses. I simply cannot afford to work for free, I don't have anyone to pay for me. I have tried everything from sending letters to production companies to talking to film crews I've seen in London and I have had no success. 

At this point I have begun to question why Universities offer courses in subjects that will not lead to industry jobs. How can universities justify taking money from teenagers in the form of loans (I paid the increased fee of £9,000 a year for my undergrad) where there are no jobs in the subject field. How can this be allowed? I also question why I cannot even get an entry level job with my degree when Kent University is meant to be a top university? 

I am at the point where I have almost given up any hope of finding even a full time job let alone a job that allows me to express my creative side. I cannot even put into words how I have been feeling the past few months other than low self worth. The reason I studied film the reason I want to make films is because I feel that it is my calling in life that that is what I am here to do. I want to make films to inspire others like I have been. Film is a way to tackle social issues, political issues whilst also being a form of self expression, entertainment, creativity. When I go to the cinema I feel wonder not just at the film but at the hours of work that goes into creating the finished product. 

So for now I must content myself with writing scripts, seeing the images form in my head, writing my blog and hoping that one day I will go to the cinema and see my name on the credits and see even just one audience member say 'wow' because the film I helped make has inspired them. Filmmaking is what I am passionate about and I don't think that will ever change. 

So for anyone else that feels this way regardless of whether you want to work in the film industry or the travel or the banking industries but had not got there yet. For anyone that feels that their degree was a waste of time. For anyone that feels demotivated when not even being able to bag an entry level job. You are not on your own. 

I still believe in me. 


If anyone would like to see my experience please check out my LinkedIn account:              https://www.linkedin.com/in/darcie-gray-3aa952123

Please let me know your experiences.  
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Thank you so much for reading xx


Comments

  1. Mariko22/4/18

    I’m currently still at uni and this was so insightful ! I believe your passion will lead to a job in the end!!

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